FAQ ID # 4512 - i have a problem my wife got onto this myspace internet site and looked up old friends. She ended up talking to an ex-boyfriend and we almost divorced for other reasons and they ended up kissing once. Now all is forgiven but now shes back on the site chatting away with old friends and some guy friends are back up there that she says are friends. She is tracking down old friends some guys and she say there friends but what happned before makes me uncomfortable. So how should i react to this situation and is it right that she tracks down old lost high school friendships over the internet and try to pick up were old things were left off, im just confused on how i should react and if this is something that she should be doing.

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FAQ ID # 4512

Last Update : 2006/03/08
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Question / Issue

i have a problem my wife got onto this myspace internet site and looked up old friends. She ended up talking to an ex-boyfriend and we almost divorced for other reasons and they ended up kissing once. Now all is forgiven but now shes back on the site chatting away with old friends and some guy friends are back up there that she says are friends. She is tracking down old friends some guys and she say there friends but what happned before makes me uncomfortable. So how should i react to this situation and is it right that she tracks down old lost high school friendships over the internet and try to pick up were old things were left off, im just confused on how i should react and if this is something that she should be doing.

Answer / Solution

This might be an issue that you should talk to a pastor or church counselor about. The reason is that it's not possible to determine from a simple question what is actually going on. At the one extreme, these may be very inappropriate relationships that your wife needs to cut off. On the other extreme, you might be over reacting to innocent circumstances and letting fear and unwarranted jealosy to influence your thinking.

In Ephesians Chapetr 5 :15-16 it says, "be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil." (Eph 5:15-16) Now this is wise for men nad women to consider today. The days are evil. That means we don't want to put ourselves in any compromising situations because we could easily become ensnared, even if there doesn't seem to be any problem now. It also reminds us that people assume the worst. If a man and woman from the office go off together for long lunch breaks, people will assume something is going on. That can be a bad witness and puts a strain on the marriage.

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