| Question / Issue |
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| We are christians and my husband sometimes gets mad easily and I tell him that he needs to control his anger and he tells me that if I don't get him mad he would not get angry.
What advise would you give me from the biblical point of view that only oneself lets others interfere with ones emotions.
What would you recommand? |
| Answer / Solution |
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I would encourage the two of you to seek out some counsel on conflict resolution skills. There are many tools you can add to your existing tool bag. Each of you are responsible for your reaction or response to anger.
The statistics tell us that one out of five people struggle with anger management so you’re not alone. Anger is a God-given emotion that is used to help us respond to our perception of an attack or threat to our well-being. Anger that is mismanaged is one of the main reasons that people struggle in relationships. Anger is not the problem! Rather it’s our response and reaction to the strong emotion of anger that so often gets us into trouble.
When we channel the emotion of anger into a profitable cause, it can actually be a cause for positive change. Anger can either open up avenues of communication or close them down very quickly.
Often times, the response to feeling angry is to retaliate. Retaliation is a vehicle that brings the emotion of anger to a very destructive destination. When angry emotions come, think about what triggered your anger. Don’t let angry feelings get the best of you, talk to someone about help. Consider talking to a friend, a pastor or a Christian counselor who can help you find God’s perspective and can give you the emotional and spiritual tools you need to manage anger. Anger mismanagement is often triggered by our desire to control life. Have you thought about letting God have control of yours?
The book of Proverbs is full of great verses on how to deal with anger and angry people. Here are a few;
Prov 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.
Prov 19:11 A man's discretion makes him slow to anger, And it is his glory to overlook a transgression.
Prov 19:19 A man of great anger will bear the penalty, For if you rescue him, you will only have to do it again.
Prov 21:14 A gift in secret subdues anger, And a bribe in the bosom, strong wrath.
Prov 22:24 Do not associate with a man given to anger; Or go with a hot-tempered man,
Prov 29:8 Scorners set a city aflame, But wise men turn away anger
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