FAQ ID # 4911 - Three years ago, we sent out daughter off to college with a tuition waiver and we would pay everything else. Unbeknownst to us, in her Freshman year she incurred almost $10,000 of credit card debt, went from a B student to a D student and pretty much played the entire time and lost her tuition waiver. She did not take the opportunity the university gave her to get her waiver back. Because of that, we then required her to pay her own tuition. We still paid for her living expenses, room and board. She continued to lie about her circumstances when asked what was going on because she said she was always "broke." Last May she came home from college stating that she couldn't afford the university anymore. She still goes to school, but has had to re-take classes she failed and lost her spot in the College of Education at the University. We did not know that she also had quit paying her credit card debt because "she couldn't keep up." Both the credit card company and the bank threatened to sue her. She then supposedly "worked things out". We have let her handle this because she is going to be 22 at the end of October. Last night, she came over and was crying stating that "all of the payments she had made to the bank had been late because she thought they were due on a different date." The bank has now told her that she will be sued unless she takes one of the options offered. She can make $500.00 per month payments until paid, make three months of smaller payments and hope that they will work with her at the end of that or; get a loan to pay it off. She can't get a loan unless WE co-sign for it. We are torn about what to do. We don't want to see her fall, but are we really helping her by co-signing yet ANOTHER loan for her? This is a pattern that has developed in her life and I can't find anything biblical about this. Can you give my husband and I some guidance please?

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FAQ ID # 4911

Last Update : 2006/10/13
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Three years ago, we sent out daughter off to college with a tuition waiver and we would pay everything else. Unbeknownst to us, in her Freshman year she incurred almost $10,000 of credit card debt, went from a B student to a D student and pretty much played the entire time and lost her tuition waiver. She did not take the opportunity the university gave her to get her waiver back. Because of that, we then required her to pay her own tuition. We still paid for her living expenses, room and board. She continued to lie about her circumstances when asked what was going on because she said she was always "broke." Last May she came home from college stating that she couldn't afford the university anymore. She still goes to school, but has had to re-take classes she failed and lost her spot in the College of Education at the University. We did not know that she also had quit paying her credit card debt because "she couldn't keep up." Both the credit card company and the bank threatened to sue her. She then supposedly "worked things out". We have let her handle this because she is going to be 22 at the end of October. Last night, she came over and was crying stating that "all of the payments she had made to the bank had been late because she thought they were due on a different date." The bank has now told her that she will be sued unless she takes one of the options offered. She can make $500.00 per month payments until paid, make three months of smaller payments and hope that they will work with her at the end of that or; get a loan to pay it off. She can't get a loan unless WE co-sign for it. We are torn about what to do. We don't want to see her fall, but are we really helping her by co-signing yet ANOTHER loan for her? This is a pattern that has developed in her life and I can't find anything biblical about this. Can you give my husband and I some guidance please?

Answer / Solution

No...you are not really helping her in the long term if you co-sign for another loan. You would only be providing a short-term solution to a deep rooted problem that truly is going to require some time to recover from. Sometimes doing what's best for the ones we love is the most difficult choice for us to make. Proverbs 22:26 warns us..."Do not be among those who give pledges, among those who become guarantors for debts." This warning is for our benefit because of the potential risk involved.

You can continue to be the loving and supportive parents she has always known without bailing her out. The Lord will provide the wisdom and grace that you will need to walk through this with your daughter without having to put your financial well being on the line. Most importantly, your daughter will learn the seriousness of financial responsibility while still being quite young.

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