FAQ ID # 4996 - My 39 year-old sister-in-law is gay and currently has a live-in partner. We have a friendly relationship with them both. They occasionally come to our home and they seem to be quite attached to our kids, ages 5 and 7. My concern is about boundaries and the example we set for our kids. Do you have any general advice for us in handling this relationship as Christians, how and when we should talk with our children about it, and the boundaries we should set with this couple?

FAQ ID # 4996

Last Update : 2006/12/14
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Question / Issue

My 39 year-old sister-in-law is gay and currently has a live-in partner. We have a friendly relationship with them both. They occasionally come to our home and they seem to be quite attached to our kids, ages 5 and 7. My concern is about boundaries and the example we set for our kids. Do you have any general advice for us in handling this relationship as Christians, how and when we should talk with our children about it, and the boundaries we should set with this couple?

Answer / Solution

Family relationships are very difficult within a Christian home when homosexuality is present one or more family members. As you navigate this potential minefield, you want to be sure you communicate to your children why we reject homosexuality as Christians. But you also should bear in mind that it does not do away with our obligation to show Christian love to everyone. It would be very difficult to exclude an integral family member because of this issue without giving your kids the wrong idea about Christianity.

To some extent, your boundaries will be determined by the attitude and compliance of the homosexual partners. If they have a militant attitude and consistently comment about social rejection, Christian 'bigotry', or their views on sexuality, obviously you are going to have to address that or not allow them to be around your children. Otherwise, you should make sure your kids know where you stand and continue to show love for them as you pray for their deliverance. Homosexuality is not an easy lifestyle, and they are often pushed deeper into the homosexual culture because it's the only place where they are not rejected.

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