FAQ ID # 4800 - Although I love my wife, I'm not happy with my marriage. My wife became a totally different person once we were married. Before we were married she acted like she loved me and accepted me for who I was. She knew what things I liked to do, my personality, my beliefs, and the relationships with friends and family that I had. Now that we are married, she is not accepting of any of that and gets jealous if I show anyone attention besides her (like friends and family). I feel depressed often and like a slave trying to keep her happy, and I don't feel the joy in my spirit like I once did. She's not willing to do marital counseling, what can I do? Is there any hope or encouragement? We are both Christians by the way, but I don't think we are equally yoked.

FAQ ID # 4800

Last Update : 2006/07/30
Rating :

Send FAQ by E-mail

Add to favorites

Print this FAQ

Question / Issue

Although I love my wife, I'm not happy with my marriage. My wife became a totally different person once we were married. Before we were married she acted like she loved me and accepted me for who I was. She knew what things I liked to do, my personality, my beliefs, and the relationships with friends and family that I had. Now that we are married, she is not accepting of any of that and gets jealous if I show anyone attention besides her (like friends and family). I feel depressed often and like a slave trying to keep her happy, and I don't feel the joy in my spirit like I once did. She's not willing to do marital counseling, what can I do? Is there any hope or encouragement? We are both Christians by the way, but I don't think we are equally yoked.

Answer / Solution

I would encourage you to call the office to sit down with a pastor for some wise counsel.   Your marriage relationship is unique and complex. Right now your marriage would benefit from some third party involvement, if not with both of you, then just yourself. The number is 602-973-4768.

In regards to being "unequally yoked", if you are both saved, you are equally yoked. There is hope for your marriage. Even if she is not doing her part or meeting your needs and/or expectations. I would encourage you to focus on your relationship with the Lord first. Then, as you are seeking God's provision for healing and restoration in your marriage, focus on meeting her needs!  Love her like Christ loves us - unconditionally! (Eph 5:25) "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her..." Do you remember when the Lord was patiently waiting for you to get your heart right with Him? His love for you remained the same even when unreciprocated.

You do your part and just wait on the Lord to work on her heart.  (Ps 37:7)   Commit to praying for her as you wait.  You may also want to read up on your part of building communication and intimacy. The bookstore has many good resources: Gary Chapman's COVENANT MARRIAGE shares great insight on the realities of marriage and also provides some effective tools to assist you.  You might also want to check out LOVE & RESPECT, which reveals many of the common difficulties we face in marriage while giving very practical solutions. I know the Lord will give you the wisdom and love that you will need to do your part!

Direct Link to This FAQ

http://www.calvaryphx.com/askCalvary/?f=4800