FAQ ID # 4540 - This incident happened when we were boyfriend and girlfriend. I came from a strict family and he had no disciple because his father was killed when he was 7yrs old. I met him when I was 18yrs old and so was he. He cheated on me several times and out of anger which I regret had a co-worker who I seldom talked too; give me a heeky and my boyfriend found out. We have been married for 20 yrs and he has had no closure to this. He feels that I did more than that; I think he feels that way just because he had sexual intercourse with the girls he cheated on me. I would of never have done what he did to me eventhough I truly regret going along with a heeky just to get back at him. I don't know what to do and quiet frank Im tired of it and if I would do it again I would of never done that. This is the only thing he has on me. Please help

FAQ ID # 4540

Last Update : 2006/03/15
Rating :

Send FAQ by E-mail

Add to favorites

Print this FAQ

Question / Issue

This incident happened when we were boyfriend and girlfriend. I came from a strict family and he had no disciple because his father was killed when he was 7yrs old. I met him when I was 18yrs old and so was he. He cheated on me several times and out of anger which I regret had a co-worker who I seldom talked too; give me a heeky and my boyfriend found out. We have been married for 20 yrs and he has had no closure to this. He feels that I did more than that; I think he feels that way just because he had sexual intercourse with the girls he cheated on me. I would of never have done what he did to me eventhough I truly regret going along with a heeky just to get back at him. I don't know what to do and quiet frank Im tired of it and if I would do it again I would of never done that. This is the only thing he has on me. Please help

Answer / Solution

It sounds as though there's more to this than the brief description. Certainly anyone could see the hypocracy of holding one indescression over you while excusing his own multiple acts of adultery. This item may not be the real issue for him at all, but just the only incident he can point to to explain his frustration. There's all sorts of things that could be the underlying issue, including his own feeling of unforgiveness for what he's done, or a feeling of being disrespected, or even the general hopelessness of being unsaved or out of fellowship with the Lord.

If love and forgiveness is not being extended by both of you toward the other, then issues like this will continue to surface. I Corinthians 13 says that love "does not take into account a wrong suffered". Now I wasn't there at your wedding, but I'll bet you promised to love each other along with other vows you made. The first step is to make sure you are both right with God, and then seek to be genuinely loving toward each other.

Direct Link to This FAQ

http://www.calvaryphx.com/askCalvary/?f=4540